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My Attitude
Jun 2nd, 2012 by niceyfemme

From now on will be based on how you treat me. I’ll give back whatever you throw my way. I’ve been hurt by people many times and it sucks and I’m tired of it. Even some family members (not immediate) have showed me their true colors! Everything is just about money. They made me feel ever since that if you have more money then the more I’d love you. Now since my family and I are not rich, I could only give time and effort and guess what? I have been given some cold shoulders because they prefer cold cash.

I’ve always known that I need to show people close to my heart how much I love them while they’re still here, while they still can feel it and not when they’re gone. So So I’ve been burnt before but I try to shrug it off and put it at the back of my mind and to still just show kindness and love. But if you can’t even make the smallest effort to show me you care and then you expect me to give all the effort to you (and money as well) then to hell with you! I am sick and tired of all your attitude towards me and my family! When one of the dearest in my life went through a really hard time, where were you people? Nowhere to be found that’s where because we have no money to hand over then! Now that everything’s fine, you all flock to where ‘honey’ is. You only see us like we are a gold bullion of gigantic size. I am having none of it from now on.

Now don’t expect to see me anymore because I am not making any effort for you people from now on. I am not as martyr as my parents. Getting hurt is what I get from showing you all all my love? And unfortunately, I know that I’ll never be good enough for you unless I win millions of cash. I truly hope my dream last night could come true. Maybe then you’ll truly love me.

Roses Are Sweet
Feb 27th, 2012 by niceyfemme

Ok late post coming right now. By the way I’m so glad that I can blog now as I feel quite alright as I type and I hope this continues to go on oh please!

So yeah, my husband gave me roses again. Not on Valentine’s Day but on our nth monthsary. Haha we are corny like that, we have monthsaries. There is some story behind this roses though. This is a big deal for me. Why? This is only the second time he have┬ágave me flowers as he is not the type who does so, he’s more into feeding me haha. So the first time was on our 1st monthsary, almost 6 years ago, then now. I truly appreciated this, I even read the internet to know how to make the life of these roses last. It’s the thought really. And I was totally caught by surprise.

Awww! I love you baby… But what I appreciate more is the time we spend together laughing and being crazy like kids. The tickling and wrestling like Hitman I truly cherish. The mornings before you have to leave for work so you’d wake me up by kissing me lots on the cheek and hug me like there’s no tomorrow. I truly hope we stay this way until we’re old and gray. If you want to buy gold jewelry for me I’m open to that too haha! No really, I am contented just having you. How blessed am I. ­čÖé

I Will Be A Mommy!
Feb 18th, 2012 by niceyfemme

I’ve always wanted to become pregnant and be a mommy. Since I know that I need to do these kinds of things in the perfect time and with the right person, I put a full stop on this dream for years. Fortunately, I reached a point in my life where I am in that place and everything is right for that dream to happen already. I am now married to a wonderful and funny man, and I felt ready for motherhood since last year even before we got married. I am one who do things when it feels right. He asked me to marry him year 2008 but I did not feel like I am ready for marriage then more so having a baby.

After getting married baby is next on our plan but it seemed to be more difficult┬áchallenging for me, that’s what my Reproductive Endocrinologist told me. Still it is possible, we just need some help. So I took medications for a year. Wow, it was not easy on me. Those medications made me feel down and low and even caused me to gain a lot of weight. There are times when I was so down I always cried. It was so stressful and the fear of ┬ánot knowing if it will ever happen or if it is even possible was just haunting me. Add to that other different stresses life brings and I was a mess on the inside. I was always mad at the smallest things. Thank God I have my family who understands.

Then by December of last year, a really big stress in my life is finally gone. I guess I was stress free that month and happy. I also reached that point when I just prayed to Him leaving everything up to Him since having a baby is beyond my control. I said to my husband, we will do our part then just pray. If it happens then great I’ll be very happy if not then we just have to try again. Trying again is much trickier since distance is going to be a challenge. But I have my faith. Knowing the odds, I didn’t keep my hopes too high.

Then I got the biggest surprise of my life. It was positive! That was after feeling sick and feverish for about a week .I was actually really scared to test because seeing that single line really broke my heart many times before. I really waited for cycle day 35 before I used a home pregnancy kit. I really couldn’t believe my eyes. TWO LINES!!!! I immediately went to Asian Hospital for the first pre-natal check up. Talking about being excited. I was only 4 weeks and 4 days along then.

Still can’t believe I am now pregnant. My husband is happy same with my Mommy and my Dad is so cute and being extra caring with me. Haha he is really excited which is something I somehow knew would happen. Why? He is the one who keeps on asking me when I’ll give him a grandchild. Haha I told him, “Daddy, you know it’s not easy! It’s not like I could just go to the mall and pick the one with the most dots!”

Now I am at 8 weeks and boy it’s not been a walk in the park! I have trouble eating as it makes me feel like vomiting so I can’t eat much but also, I am always hungry! I’ve never felt this hungry before! This kind is different, the type that worries me. The first week I lost 2 lbs now I guess I lost even more. I really lost a lot of weight. I even wake up in the middle of the night because of severe hunger.

I stopped using lotions. I am extra careful now. I want to use comodynes but I guess that will have to wait until after this whole pregnancy.

All of these inconveniences are worth it because after a few months I will have a baby! I so wanted to have a baby that I tried to adopt many times before and even went to an orphanage just to cuddle a baby. Now I will have my own. Thank You Lord. I am so happy.

 

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