I had a lot of thinking these past days mostly about how things are much different now than when I was about eight years old. During those times, only a handful had their own mobile phones and I was lucky enough to have one when even my teachers didn’t have one. They’d even borrow one from me. No pre-paid lines as well. So not responsible with using it then, I’d call people I didn’t know and hang up on them just because I was bored. And calls per minute then are way more expensive too. My dad would reprimand me when my line’s bill reached more than Php3000 plus. I do not remember if texting already existed then. Or maybe I was just not aware about it. Now there’s internet.

There’s video calling and it’s free… well kind of as you still need to pay for your internet connection. I just hope internet here doesn’t suck this much. Another thing I love is online video conferencing, I could talk to Daddy and Bee at the same time. There’s blogging too. An online journal. These are just some of the things I appreciate having been born in this day and age. Will I ever survive in the 1800′s if I was born then? I guess so. You don’t long for something you have no idea about.

Ok late post coming right now. By the way I’m so glad that I can blog now as I feel quite alright as I type and I hope this continues to go on oh please!

So yeah, my husband gave me roses again. Not on Valentine’s Day but on our nth monthsary. Haha we are corny like that, we have monthsaries. There is some story behind this roses though. This is a big deal for me. Why? This is only the second time he have gave me flowers as he is not the type who does so, he’s more into feeding me haha. So the first time was on our 1st monthsary, almost 6 years ago, then now. I truly appreciated this, I even read the internet to know how to make the life of these roses last. It’s the thought really. And I was totally caught by surprise.

Awww! I love you baby… But what I appreciate more is the time we spend together laughing and being crazy like kids. The tickling and wrestling like Hitman I truly cherish. The mornings before you have to leave for work so you’d wake me up by kissing me lots on the cheek and hug me like there’s no tomorrow. I truly hope we stay this way until we’re old and gray. If you want to buy gold jewelry for me I’m open to that too haha! No really, I am contented just having you. How blessed am I.

I’ve always wanted to become pregnant and be a mommy. Since I know that I need to do these kind of things in the perfect time and with the right person, I put a full stop on this dream for years. Fortunately, I reached a point in my life when I am in that place and everything is right for that dream to happen already. I am now married to a wonderful and funny man, and I felt ready for motherhood since last year even before we got married. I am one who do things when it feels right. He asked me to marry him year 2008 but I did not feel like myself is ready for marriage then more so having a baby.

After getting married baby is next but it seemed to be more difficult for me, that’s what my Reproductive Endocrinologist told me. Still it is possible, we just need some help. So I took medications. Wow, it was not easy on me. Those medications made me feel down and low and even caused me to gain a lot of weight. There are times when I was so down I always cry. It is so stressful and the fear of  not knowing if will ever happen or if it is even possible was just haunting me. Add to that other different stress life brings and I was a mess on the inside. I was always mad at the smallest things. Thank God I have my family who understands.

Then by December of last year, a really big stress in my life is finally gone. I guess I was stress free that month and happy. I also reached that point when I just prayed to Him leaving everything up to Him since having a baby is beyond my control. I said to my husband, we will do our part then just pray. If it happens then great I’ll be very happy if not then try again. Trying again is much trickier since time is not on our side. But I have my faith. Knowing the odds, I didn’t keep my hopes too high.

Then I got the biggest surprise of my life. It was positive! That is after feeling sick and feverish for about a week .I was actually really scared to test because seeing that single line really broke my heart many times. I really waited for day 35 before I used a home pregnancy kit. I really couldn’t believe my eyes. I immediately went to Asian Hospital for the first pre-natal check up. Talking about being excited. I was only 4 weeks 4 days then.

Still can’t believe I am now pregnant. My husband is happy same with Mommy and my Dad is so cute and being extra caring with me. Haha he is really excited which is something I somehow knew would happen. Why? He is the one who keeps on asking me when I’ll give him a grandchild. Haha I told him, “Daddy, you know it’s not easy! It’s not like I could just go to the mall and pick the one with the most dots!”

Now I am at 8 weeks and boy it’s not been a walk in the park! I have trouble eating as it makes me feel like vomiting so I can’t eat much but also, I am always hungry! I’ve never felt this hungry before! This kind is different, the type that makes worries me. The first week I lost 2 lbs now I guess I lost even more. I really lost a lot of weight. I even wake up at the middle of the night because of severe hunger.

I stopped using lotions. I am extra careful now. I want to use comodynes but I guess that will have to wait until after.

All of these inconveniences are worth it because after a few months I will have a baby! I so wanted to have a baby that I tried to adopt many times  before and even went to an orphanage just to cuddle a baby. Now I will have my own. Thank You Lord. I am so happy.

I am someone who thinks a lot and someone who is very observant. So in my years of living on Earth, I have a few theories I believe is true and they are:

1. In a family with 3 consecutive same gender siblings, the middle sibling will always be the most good looking one. Example, Hanson brothers, Taylor looks best. My friend’s 3 girls, the middle girl is the cutest. It’s the same in my cousins’ case as well.

2. In couples who are having difficulty of having their own biological children, I heard cases wherein they adopted a baby/kid then immediately for some odd reason, they will be able to conceive their own. I always thought it’s like being close or holding a baby “enhances” your uterus or ovaries. Hmmmn. Then just yesterdayI read about David Bowie and his wife Iman who tried IVF for a year before giving up. Then Iman tried an old African fertility ritual where she held a baby for a whole day then she got pregnant a few months later. I think this happened to me to. I held my husband’s 5 month old nephew on Christmas day but only for a few minutes, exactly a month later I learned I am pregnant! All this makes more sense now.

I have more theories but I need to remember them first. I am so forgetful recently. Hmmmn. Or maybe I am just hungry again.

And has been for the last 15 years.

A 12 year old 6th grader I was. Fell in love with these girly looking boys (blame their long hair) but really it is their music that swept me off of my feet but it doesn’t hurt that they’re so good looking and charming and funny.

(Just some of my Hanson stuff as some are stored in a very big box as I need more space in my room.)

I remember to always buy their cd’s in multiple numbers to have myself some back up if ever something happens to the first one I’m using, their albums are that important to me. I cannot even imagine myself not listening to their Middle of Nowhere cd. It is always in my Sony discman and I wouldn’t leave home without it. I listen to their beautiful voice from the moment I wake up and just before I sleep. MTV was always on because their video might come up and I’d go crazy if I miss it. Just seeing them made me giddy with happiness.

Obsessing over them didn’t stop there. I even bought those imported magazines especially if they’re in the cover spending 6th grader allowance on them. And they’re not cheap! One magazine cost Php 300! And sometimes even more expensive and that was on year 1997-1998. But I didn’t mind as  I loved reading anything about them. I know their favorite food, hobbies and so on. That made me feel like I knew them personally and somehow there’s a connection between us even though in reality they might not be sure that they have a Filipino fan as crazy as I was back then.

The walls of my rooms was full of their posters. My whole clan knows how crazy I was for them and they gave me gifts Hanson related. Oh and I even joined a Channel V contest that would bring the winner to Hong Kong to watch their concert and meet them. Man, I sent too many entries. I didn’t win the grand prize but they sent me some Hanson thingies including their cd. I love that point in my life, I was floating, high with Hanson. ♥

Of course life brings sadness as well. Their music helped me go through it. When no one understood, they did, through their music. There was a time in my life when I can’t fit in, ‘Weird’ was the song of my life then. Then ‘I Will Come To you’ was next.

Then year 2003 came. I was in the school’s library/internet area. I read that Taylor got married. That crushed me. Tears fell down my cheeks and I was unconscious about it. It was only when my friend asked why I was crying that brought me back to reality.

Then year 2004 Hanson finally came to the Philippines for a concert, the event I was waiting for since 1997. BUT I wasn’t able to go. That really got to me and years has passed I still have that regret of not seeing Taylor in person. I wondered if they’re ever going back. Then last November I read that they’re coming here!!! I was so happy and started to talk about it in Facebook. BUT. I still wasn’t sure if I can come. My predicament then was that March is way too far ahead for me to be sure that I am in the Philippines by then. So I didn’t buy then. Come January, and after thinking about it a lot of times, I gave in. I’d make a way to be here by March. I NEED TO SEE TAYLOR IN PERSON. That’s my lifelong dream haha. Really. I have wished for that to happen so many times before and now there’s this chance of it happening and I won’t let it pass me again.

I finally have my ticket! Yey! Taylor, Ike and Zac I’ll be seeing you! Can’t wait for March.

Here’s the seat map.

Ticket Prices:

For Manila Tickets Call 911 5555
Patron VIP 4770
Patron 3710
Lower Box 3180
Upper Box A 2650
Upper Box B 1590
Gen Ad 530

For Cebu Tickets Call 232 6888 514 3500 for reservations

VIP 3710
Gold 3180
Silver 2120
SP Balcony 1590
Bronze 1060
Balcony 636

Got all these info from Facebook.

Lastly, I would LOVE to meet them in person (as in in a meet and greet kind of thing) but I think I’d freeze and I don’t want to make myself look stupid in front of them. So nah!

Now everyone who call themselves Hanson fans need to show support by going to their concert and not just blab about being one and not do anything. Come and enjoy with fellow Hanson fans. Let’s enjoy their music together. Who knows when they’re coming back here so don’t let the chance pass you by. Buy your tickets now.

Is something I believe in and what I preached Bee. Now a great opportunity has come knocking and I encourage him to take it. I know it’s a new challenge but it will be something that will sky rocket his career. New people to work with, new rules, new environment. If he decides to go for it then I will support him all the way. If he wants to stay put where he is now is fine with me as well. If someone approaches me and offer me a job like say Executive Chef jobs then I’ll grab it. It will not be waiting for me everyday and I don’t want to regret anything either.

Arrrgghhh!

The last month has been really hectic. We have some business in the north part of Metro Manila and we live in the southern part of it. So everyday as in every effing day I have to go back and forth and conquer Edsa traffic. Man it’s bad. The worse areas are from Guadalupe to Cubao. I hate going through there but I have to so I have no choice, none at all.

There are times I am so tired already and I will still have to drive 1 1/2 – 2 hours or driving and most of the time that gets longer as I will get stuck in crazy u turn areas. One time was in front of SM North Edsa and it took me a good 30 minutes to make a u turn. We were not moving and to make it worse the volume of cars waiting to make a u turn is crazy.  I was in the verge of crying from exhaustion and frustration.  I used to love driving but after the everyday crazy bout in Edsa, Bee now have the responsibility to drive ALL THE TIME.  It was traumatic. Well they say that if you can drive in Edsa, then you can drive anywhere else in the world like it the test of a true driver. Whewww!

Then this afternoon, we headed to Alabang Town Center and even trying to park is a pain. I hate hate hate traffic!!!!

I just want to spend time with family. Nothing will beat that. But if we’re talking about something money can buy, then I want enough money to buy us a 500 square meter residential lot where we will build our house according to my very specific choices. There is where I will plant my tomatoes and eggplants and other veggies. I’ll be happy with another pet dog also. A teacup so even if he or she barks, it’s not going to be too noisy. I just saw a really cute teacup dog when I was out today, so cute with the layers of gold chains in his neck.

But I am actually happy with my life. We are all healthy and we live quite comfortably. We need more financially but we can work for it so again, I’m happy.

I have a lot of things in my mind but I can’t tell them to you. No, I will not fall to the same trap you keep on going on since forever. No ping pong rules for us anymore. We are not friends anymore. You hurt me. Caused me harm and didn’t defend me from the devil person you love so dearly. I can’t stand that person and you love him. But that is life. I guess this is the price I have to pay for choosing to never see that person again, and that is never having to see you either.