Is how it feels like for me when my baby kicks. Sometimes the baby’s movements will catch me off guard but it’s a welcome surprise. I love that feeling. Now it’s like I have a more concrete evidence that my baby is there, moving. Before I only get to see the baby move and feel assured that the baby’s ok during ultrasound. So far I had two. First and second times was to find the heartbeat. Ooh that tormented me but that’s over now and I’m happy. My baby’s so active even at this very young age.

In 3 weeks time, my husband and I will have another ultrasound, that one’s to finally know the gender of the baby. I can’t wait to know! Well I guess there’s no surprise there that I’m so eager since patience is not one of my strengths. So it’s a good thing we can finally know soon. To have to wait almost 5 more months to know my baby’s gender would be very hard on me. Hmmmn I really can’t wait to know. A boy or a girl? I need to know!

Is crazy! I can’t say what I like and what I can and cannot eat. It’s so hard. Forgive me for complaining but this is really difficult for me and to be honest, I feel like it has kicked me out of my comfort zone. See, food used to be my comfort zone. Now, I lost it. This pregnancy has made me feel like I have healthy trim side effects I am experiencing all day everyday since the moment I learned I am pregnant.

One of the thoughts that has helped me get through from day to another is the assurance given to me by my Mom and OB-Gyn, that the moment I pass through my first trimester, I’d feel much better and I’d be able to eat well to the point that I will have to stop myself. Hmmmn… I’m passed my first trimester and I feel much better but not when it comes to food. I have really bad food aversions and I have more of it than the foods I can eat. Did I mention that I still can’t cook? Whewww! This is the longest break I have from cooking.

I guess I just have to wait until things get better.

Wow, I am back. It’s been a long hiatus. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I had a bout of not being able to eat that I had no energy for anything else, including writing in this blog. But now as I am already in my second trimester and feeling much, much better, I am back. I feel like I am 80% of my old self again.

So, pregnancy and food. It hasn’t been a walk in the park for me when it comes to food and eating ever since I learned I am pregnant. Since my 6th week, I started to have food aversions, and what’s worse it i can’t stand the food that I used to love. I even stayed in Singapore thinking this pregnancy would make me eat like a pig and what happened? I wasn’t able to stand any food, and I starved to the point that I was crying everyday because of hunger. And now that I feel much better, I can eat better but I still don’t like rice. I used to love rice all my life, until pregnancy happens. Now I just eat it because I have to.

Another thing is about the food that I was able to eat. I was only able to eat the stuff that I stayed away from before. Like pork and beef, and lots of sweet stuff. It’s just the opposite of myself. Also, now I’m craving for the things I wasn’t particularly fond of, like coffee. Now I want it, so much that I’m thinking of having my own. I can’t stop looking at starbucks coffee makers. But I can ony have decaf.

A big surprise to me is that I eat less now. I’m contented with just enough food and I even have to force myself to eat more whereas before I constantly have to stop myself from eating waayyy too much. I guess it’s a good thing as I don’t want to be as big as Jessica Simpson. We are about the same height so I can’t imagine if I get as big as her. Plus I don’t have all her money to help me get back to my pre-pregnancy shape, so better be careful Niceyfemme.

Wahhhh! I guess this is the right word to describe how I was and still am feeling these past weeks… I am always hungry! A different kind of hunger I have never felt before. The kind of hunger that scares me as it is painful and it needs to be dealt with ASAP.

Only able to smile a bit after I felt relief from drinking Milo. Wahhh!

Yeah, I am always hungry, but I have a problem; I can’t eat. I feel like vomiting whenever I put food in my mouth. It’s like JBL Subwoofers are banging in throat! So yeah that’s my predicament these past weeks. I’m always hungry as in like every hour but I can’t stomach food. I feel like crying like a baby whenever I feel the hunger coming up and when I’m forcing myself to eat. Ok, to be honest, I’ve cried more than a couple of times already. Out of frustration and hunger. One was gentle crying the other with shoulders rocking.

I don’t recognize myself anymore. I used to LOVE food. Just the thought of food used to excite me. Just looking at food photos made me salivate and when I finally get my hand on that food, 100% of the time I had to stop myself from eating way too much, more than my tummy can handle. Now just the thought of food makes me want to cry. I feel like I’m fighting a battle whenever I’m eating. I also have to drink ice cold drinks to help with the nausea.

Another thing is I can’t cook anymore. I used to love cooking. I took my time sauteing the garlic, onions etc until they sweat fully but now I can’t even stomach just the smell of it. Now my poor husband has to do the cooking that is after his day of work. I feel guilty. Like my mother, one of the ways I show my love is by cooking for them. Now I can’t do that. I truly hope he understands. So far I think he does.

Oh and I have another confession. I used to snob junk food, specially instant noodles. Now they are my life saver. Boiling hot Nissin Seafood noodles cured my mad hunger. I can’t eat healthy home cooked meals. I’m scared to eat just any food before I research if it’s safe or not. I don’t know. I’m desperate. Now I understand just how it feels to starve so bad.

Oh and I lost a lot of weight already. Ahhhhhh! I can’t wait until this phase is over!!!

I’ve always wanted to become pregnant and be a mommy. Since I know that I need to do these kind of things in the perfect time and with the right person, I put a full stop on this dream for years. Fortunately, I reached a point in my life when I am in that place and everything is right for that dream to happen already. I am now married to a wonderful and funny man, and I felt ready for motherhood since last year even before we got married. I am one who do things when it feels right. He asked me to marry him year 2008 but I did not feel like myself is ready for marriage then more so having a baby.

After getting married baby is next but it seemed to be more difficult for me, that’s what my Reproductive Endocrinologist told me. Still it is possible, we just need some help. So I took medications. Wow, it was not easy on me. Those medications made me feel down and low and even caused me to gain a lot of weight. There are times when I was so down I always cry. It is so stressful and the fear of  not knowing if will ever happen or if it is even possible was just haunting me. Add to that other different stress life brings and I was a mess on the inside. I was always mad at the smallest things. Thank God I have my family who understands.

Then by December of last year, a really big stress in my life is finally gone. I guess I was stress free that month and happy. I also reached that point when I just prayed to Him leaving everything up to Him since having a baby is beyond my control. I said to my husband, we will do our part then just pray. If it happens then great I’ll be very happy if not then try again. Trying again is much trickier since time is not on our side. But I have my faith. Knowing the odds, I didn’t keep my hopes too high.

Then I got the biggest surprise of my life. It was positive! That is after feeling sick and feverish for about a week .I was actually really scared to test because seeing that single line really broke my heart many times. I really waited for day 35 before I used a home pregnancy kit. I really couldn’t believe my eyes. I immediately went to Asian Hospital for the first pre-natal check up. Talking about being excited. I was only 4 weeks 4 days then.

Still can’t believe I am now pregnant. My husband is happy same with Mommy and my Dad is so cute and being extra caring with me. Haha he is really excited which is something I somehow knew would happen. Why? He is the one who keeps on asking me when I’ll give him a grandchild. Haha I told him, “Daddy, you know it’s not easy! It’s not like I could just go to the mall and pick the one with the most dots!”

Now I am at 8 weeks and boy it’s not been a walk in the park! I have trouble eating as it makes me feel like vomiting so I can’t eat much but also, I am always hungry! I’ve never felt this hungry before! This kind is different, the type that makes worries me. The first week I lost 2 lbs now I guess I lost even more. I really lost a lot of weight. I even wake up at the middle of the night because of severe hunger.

I stopped using lotions. I am extra careful now. I want to use comodynes but I guess that will have to wait until after.

All of these inconveniences are worth it because after a few months I will have a baby! I so wanted to have a baby that I tried to adopt many times  before and even went to an orphanage just to cuddle a baby. Now I will have my own. Thank You Lord. I am so happy.

I am someone who thinks a lot and someone who is very observant. So in my years of living on Earth, I have a few theories I believe is true and they are:

1. In a family with 3 consecutive same gender siblings, the middle sibling will always be the most good looking one. Example, Hanson brothers, Taylor looks best. My friend’s 3 girls, the middle girl is the cutest. It’s the same in my cousins’ case as well.

2. In couples who are having difficulty of having their own biological children, I heard cases wherein they adopted a baby/kid then immediately for some odd reason, they will be able to conceive their own. I always thought it’s like being close or holding a baby “enhances” your uterus or ovaries. Hmmmn. Then just yesterdayI read about David Bowie and his wife Iman who tried IVF for a year before giving up. Then Iman tried an old African fertility ritual where she held a baby for a whole day then she got pregnant a few months later. I think this happened to me to. I held my husband’s 5 month old nephew on Christmas day but only for a few minutes, exactly a month later I learned I am pregnant! All this makes more sense now.

I have more theories but I need to remember them first. I am so forgetful recently. Hmmmn. Or maybe I am just hungry again.

And has been for the last 15 years.

A 12 year old 6th grader I was. Fell in love with these girly looking boys (blame their long hair) but really it is their music that swept me off of my feet but it doesn’t hurt that they’re so good looking and charming and funny.

(Just some of my Hanson stuff as some are stored in a very big box as I need more space in my room.)

I remember to always buy their cd’s in multiple numbers to have myself some back up if ever something happens to the first one I’m using, their albums are that important to me. I cannot even imagine myself not listening to their Middle of Nowhere cd. It is always in my Sony discman and I wouldn’t leave home without it. I listen to their beautiful voice from the moment I wake up and just before I sleep. MTV was always on because their video might come up and I’d go crazy if I miss it. Just seeing them made me giddy with happiness.

Obsessing over them didn’t stop there. I even bought those imported magazines especially if they’re in the cover spending 6th grader allowance on them. And they’re not cheap! One magazine cost Php 300! And sometimes even more expensive and that was on year 1997-1998. But I didn’t mind as  I loved reading anything about them. I know their favorite food, hobbies and so on. That made me feel like I knew them personally and somehow there’s a connection between us even though in reality they might not be sure that they have a Filipino fan as crazy as I was back then.

The walls of my rooms was full of their posters. My whole clan knows how crazy I was for them and they gave me gifts Hanson related. Oh and I even joined a Channel V contest that would bring the winner to Hong Kong to watch their concert and meet them. Man, I sent too many entries. I didn’t win the grand prize but they sent me some Hanson thingies including their cd. I love that point in my life, I was floating, high with Hanson. ♥

Of course life brings sadness as well. Their music helped me go through it. When no one understood, they did, through their music. There was a time in my life when I can’t fit in, ‘Weird’ was the song of my life then. Then ‘I Will Come To you’ was next.

Then year 2003 came. I was in the school’s library/internet area. I read that Taylor got married. That crushed me. Tears fell down my cheeks and I was unconscious about it. It was only when my friend asked why I was crying that brought me back to reality.

Then year 2004 Hanson finally came to the Philippines for a concert, the event I was waiting for since 1997. BUT I wasn’t able to go. That really got to me and years has passed I still have that regret of not seeing Taylor in person. I wondered if they’re ever going back. Then last November I read that they’re coming here!!! I was so happy and started to talk about it in Facebook. BUT. I still wasn’t sure if I can come. My predicament then was that March is way too far ahead for me to be sure that I am in the Philippines by then. So I didn’t buy then. Come January, and after thinking about it a lot of times, I gave in. I’d make a way to be here by March. I NEED TO SEE TAYLOR IN PERSON. That’s my lifelong dream haha. Really. I have wished for that to happen so many times before and now there’s this chance of it happening and I won’t let it pass me again.

I finally have my ticket! Yey! Taylor, Ike and Zac I’ll be seeing you! Can’t wait for March.

Here’s the seat map.

Ticket Prices:

For Manila Tickets Call 911 5555
Patron VIP 4770
Patron 3710
Lower Box 3180
Upper Box A 2650
Upper Box B 1590
Gen Ad 530

For Cebu Tickets Call 232 6888 514 3500 for reservations

VIP 3710
Gold 3180
Silver 2120
SP Balcony 1590
Bronze 1060
Balcony 636

Got all these info from Facebook.

Lastly, I would LOVE to meet them in person (as in in a meet and greet kind of thing) but I think I’d freeze and I don’t want to make myself look stupid in front of them. So nah!

Now everyone who call themselves Hanson fans need to show support by going to their concert and not just blab about being one and not do anything. Come and enjoy with fellow Hanson fans. Let’s enjoy their music together. Who knows when they’re coming back here so don’t let the chance pass you by. Buy your tickets now.

I just want to spend time with family. Nothing will beat that. But if we’re talking about something money can buy, then I want enough money to buy us a 500 square meter residential lot where we will build our house according to my very specific choices. There is where I will plant my tomatoes and eggplants and other veggies. I’ll be happy with another pet dog also. A teacup so even if he or she barks, it’s not going to be too noisy. I just saw a really cute teacup dog when I was out today, so cute with the layers of gold chains in his neck.

But I am actually happy with my life. We are all healthy and we live quite comfortably. We need more financially but we can work for it so again, I’m happy.

1. LOVE – The special feeling that makes you feel all warm and wonderful.

2. RESPECT – Treating others as well as you would like to be treated.

3. APPRECIATION – To be grateful for all the good things life has to offer.

4. HAPPINESS – The full enjoyment of each moment. A smiling face.

5. FORGIVENES – The ability to let things be without anger.

6. SHARING – The joy of giving without the thought of receiving.

7. HONESTY – The quality of always telling the truth.

8. INTEGRITY – The purity of doing what’s right, no matter what.

9. COMPASSION – The essence of feeling another’s pain, while easing their hurt.

10. PEACE – The reward for living the 10 most important things.