Is how it feels like for me when my baby kicks. Sometimes the baby’s movements will catch me off guard but it’s a welcome surprise. I love that feeling. Now it’s like I have a more concrete evidence that my baby is there, moving. Before I only get to see the baby move and feel assured that the baby’s ok during ultrasound. So far I had two. First and second times was to find the heartbeat. Ooh that tormented me but that’s over now and I’m happy. My baby’s so active even at this very young age.

In 3 weeks time, my husband and I will have another ultrasound, that one’s to finally know the gender of the baby. I can’t wait to know! Well I guess there’s no surprise there that I’m so eager since patience is not one of my strengths. So it’s a good thing we can finally know soon. To have to wait almost 5 more months to know my baby’s gender would be very hard on me. Hmmmn I really can’t wait to know. A boy or a girl? I need to know!

Wahhhh! I guess this is the right word to describe how I was and still am feeling these past weeks… I am always hungry! A different kind of hunger I have never felt before. The kind of hunger that scares me as it is painful and it needs to be dealt with ASAP.

Only able to smile a bit after I felt relief from drinking Milo. Wahhh!

Yeah, I am always hungry, but I have a problem; I can’t eat. I feel like vomiting whenever I put food in my mouth. It’s like JBL Subwoofers are banging in throat! So yeah that’s my predicament these past weeks. I’m always hungry as in like every hour but I can’t stomach food. I feel like crying like a baby whenever I feel the hunger coming up and when I’m forcing myself to eat. Ok, to be honest, I’ve cried more than a couple of times already. Out of frustration and hunger. One was gentle crying the other with shoulders rocking.

I don’t recognize myself anymore. I used to LOVE food. Just the thought of food used to excite me. Just looking at food photos made me salivate and when I finally get my hand on that food, 100% of the time I had to stop myself from eating way too much, more than my tummy can handle. Now just the thought of food makes me want to cry. I feel like I’m fighting a battle whenever I’m eating. I also have to drink ice cold drinks to help with the nausea.

Another thing is I can’t cook anymore. I used to love cooking. I took my time sauteing the garlic, onions etc until they sweat fully but now I can’t even stomach just the smell of it. Now my poor husband has to do the cooking that is after his day of work. I feel guilty. Like my mother, one of the ways I show my love is by cooking for them. Now I can’t do that. I truly hope he understands. So far I think he does.

Oh and I have another confession. I used to snob junk food, specially instant noodles. Now they are my life saver. Boiling hot Nissin Seafood noodles cured my mad hunger. I can’t eat healthy home cooked meals. I’m scared to eat just any food before I research if it’s safe or not. I don’t know. I’m desperate. Now I understand just how it feels to starve so bad.

Oh and I lost a lot of weight already. Ahhhhhh! I can’t wait until this phase is over!!!

I love this baby! She’s so happy and her laughter is contagious and just hearing her laugh like that makes me feel good. This dog touches my heart. To be honest, I’m seeing Bambi in this dog. I still miss Bambi up to this day and I know for the rest of my life I will still miss her, she will always going to be a part of it.

I’ve always wanted to become pregnant and be a mommy. Since I know that I need to do these kind of things in the perfect time and with the right person, I put a full stop on this dream for years. Fortunately, I reached a point in my life when I am in that place and everything is right for that dream to happen already. I am now married to a wonderful and funny man, and I felt ready for motherhood since last year even before we got married. I am one who do things when it feels right. He asked me to marry him year 2008 but I did not feel like myself is ready for marriage then more so having a baby.

After getting married baby is next but it seemed to be more difficult for me, that’s what my Reproductive Endocrinologist told me. Still it is possible, we just need some help. So I took medications. Wow, it was not easy on me. Those medications made me feel down and low and even caused me to gain a lot of weight. There are times when I was so down I always cry. It is so stressful and the fear of  not knowing if will ever happen or if it is even possible was just haunting me. Add to that other different stress life brings and I was a mess on the inside. I was always mad at the smallest things. Thank God I have my family who understands.

Then by December of last year, a really big stress in my life is finally gone. I guess I was stress free that month and happy. I also reached that point when I just prayed to Him leaving everything up to Him since having a baby is beyond my control. I said to my husband, we will do our part then just pray. If it happens then great I’ll be very happy if not then try again. Trying again is much trickier since time is not on our side. But I have my faith. Knowing the odds, I didn’t keep my hopes too high.

Then I got the biggest surprise of my life. It was positive! That is after feeling sick and feverish for about a week .I was actually really scared to test because seeing that single line really broke my heart many times. I really waited for day 35 before I used a home pregnancy kit. I really couldn’t believe my eyes. I immediately went to Asian Hospital for the first pre-natal check up. Talking about being excited. I was only 4 weeks 4 days then.

Still can’t believe I am now pregnant. My husband is happy same with Mommy and my Dad is so cute and being extra caring with me. Haha he is really excited which is something I somehow knew would happen. Why? He is the one who keeps on asking me when I’ll give him a grandchild. Haha I told him, “Daddy, you know it’s not easy! It’s not like I could just go to the mall and pick the one with the most dots!”

Now I am at 8 weeks and boy it’s not been a walk in the park! I have trouble eating as it makes me feel like vomiting so I can’t eat much but also, I am always hungry! I’ve never felt this hungry before! This kind is different, the type that makes worries me. The first week I lost 2 lbs now I guess I lost even more. I really lost a lot of weight. I even wake up at the middle of the night because of severe hunger.

I stopped using lotions. I am extra careful now. I want to use comodynes but I guess that will have to wait until after.

All of these inconveniences are worth it because after a few months I will have a baby! I so wanted to have a baby that I tried to adopt many times  before and even went to an orphanage just to cuddle a baby. Now I will have my own. Thank You Lord. I am so happy.

Yvoh is my godson and time really goes by so fast I was surprised he’s grown that much. The last time I saw a picture of his was when he was still a new born. Tsk tsk… Now he’s almost a year old and looks like this.

I’m sure my friend (his mother) is already sending out his first birthday invitations as early as now. I can’t wait to hold this cutie pie in my arms and play with him! I’m sure he’s got his mother’s funny personality then we sure would have a good time.

Saw this is facebook. If you haven’t seen this then you’re missing major cuteness overload.

Can sing too! Not just a kid singing along with the song, but a kid singing IN TUNE. Has the moves too. Wow. I’m sooo impressed with them.

Now the idea of having boys in the future is not as bad as I thought if they are going to be as cute as these two. Their parents must be so proud of them! Oooh specially the grandma and grandpas.

This baby’s laugh is so hysterical I also found myself laughing with him. I really really love babies!

I’ve heard and read a lot about this hospital. It’s like a baby factory with hundreds and hundreds of babies born here everyday. So I wanted to see it myself.

The hospital is located close to Doroteo Jose LRT station so I went and hoped that I won’t get lost. Walked for a few minutes and I finally found it after I got lost with a wrong turn.

Babies sight welcomed me there! So many! Wherever you look there are babies and women who just gave birth. I just sat there and eventually talked to some mommies. There’s one mommy with a doll like baby daughter in an ergo baby carrier and she said the baby is half german that’s why. So cute!

Next time I’m taking pictures.

Being around babies make me feel alive. I love the feeling.

See I’m a firm believer in the power of honesty and I tried and try to continue being real and honest until now even when it has screwed me countless times. I can say I’m still real and honest but now somehow I have finally learned WHEN to keep my mouth shut, when it’s better to just keep my thoughts and views to myself. It depends on who you’re talking to anyway. You’ll know if they’re mature enough or open enough to handle it.

I have found new friends in Singapore. Haha. Tito Mel, the cutie Reichen who’s a smart boy too, Greta, Tito Allan, Jane, Esther and all. Oh and Jeliel? (Hope I got the spelling correct.) It was fun when the two boys we’re there and we were all playing Plants Vs. Zombies. I had two coaches, enthusiastic coaches! Miss those boys.

Oh and Tito Mel I miss all the kwentuhan with Tito Allan! So many topics we talked about even the best diet pills for women but I was and still am hesitant to try that heheh…. We have the same wavelength which is kinda cool because I don’t always meet friends with the same thinking as ours. You dancing like Bitoy made my day! I still can’t believe you went through all those trouble to cook sisig! You guys were frying, chopping almost the whole day! Bilib ako sayo idol! I know when you guys meet my Bee too, you guys will get along as well. I hope we could continue to be friends for a long time.

I truly miss Kuya Reichen too! I miss his cuteness! Cutie smiles with his “last remaining brown tooth”, cutie voice, the adorable tummy I so like to rub! I always thought having a boy for a kid will be hard but if my future son will be like Kuya Reichen then I will be ok with it. Haha he always have to have his fix of Honeydew Milk Tea from SweetTalk in MRT while I have to have my fix of Soy Ice Cream of Mr.Bean haha… Fun times!

I don’t know why i forgot to take all our photos. Hayyy… Tito Mel if you’re reading this, can you send me photos of you guys so I could put it in here? Take care and kita kits!

So cute and funny! Haha.

Oh. Babies are the cutest ever. Watch the whole clip. It will brighten your day, it did to mine.