SIDEBAR
»
S
I
D
E
B
A
R
«
I Don’t Recognize Myself Anymore
Feb 27th, 2012 by niceyfemme

Wahhhh! I guess this is the right word to describe how I was and still am feeling these past weeks… I am always hungry! A different kind of hunger I have never felt before. The kind of hunger that scares me as it is painful and it needs to be dealt with ASAP.

Only able to smile a bit after I felt relief from drinking Milo. Wahhh!

Yeah, I am always hungry, but I have a problem; I can’t eat. I feel like vomiting whenever I put food in my mouth. It’s like JBL Subwoofers are banging in throat! So yeah that’s my predicament these past weeks. I’m always hungry as in like every hour but I can’t stomach food. I feel like crying like a baby whenever I feel the hunger coming up and when I’m forcing myself to eat. Ok, to be honest, I’ve cried more than a couple of times already. Out of frustration and hunger. One was gentle crying the other with shoulders rocking.

I don’t recognize myself anymore. I used to LOVE food. Just the thought of food used to excite me. Just looking at food photos made me salivate and when I finally get my hand on that food, 100% of the time I had to stop myself from eating way too much, more than my tummy can handle. Now just the thought of food makes me want to cry. I feel like I’m fighting a battle whenever I’m eating. I also have to drink ice cold drinks to help with the nausea.

Another thing is I can’t cook anymore. I used to love cooking. I took my time sauteing the garlic, onions etc until they sweat fully but now I can’t even stomach just the smell of it. Now my poor husband has to do the cooking that is after his day of work. I feel guilty. 🙁 Like my mother, one of the ways I show my love is by cooking for them. Now I can’t do that. I truly hope he understands. So far I think he does.

Oh and I have another confession. I used to snob junk food, specially instant noodles. Now they are my life saver. Boiling hot Nissin Seafood noodles cured my mad hunger. I can’t eat healthy home cooked meals. I’m scared to eat just any food before I research if it’s safe or not. I don’t know. I’m desperate. Now I understand just how it feels to starve so bad.

Oh and I lost a lot of weight already. Ahhhhhh! I can’t wait until this phase is over!!!

On my way to sexy me
Sep 29th, 2011 by niceyfemme

It’s been almost 3 weeks now since I started to lessen (again!) my rice intake. I have let myself lose so many times in the past and it happened again these last months if not these last few years. Seeing myself in videos and pictures taken recently in a family gathering, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I became fatter! I became even heavier than before. I again found it so hard to dress up as there are bulges here and there. My cheeks became like those of a chipmunk. 🙁 It finally hit me and I hope this time it lasts long enough for me to lose all the way if not permanently.

It’s been 18 days now since I gradually reduced my rice intake and I’m happy to say that my body has adjusted to it. I do not crave for rice as much now. But then I’m open to more options how to lose more weight. I don’t need to lose a whole lot of lbs but help won’t hurt. I’m even willing to try HCG diet Austin. Who knows it might be the one I’m looking for I just don’t know it yet.

So the goal is to be thinner than my usual curvy self. I have the remaining months of 2011 to do this. I want to be a whole new me come year 2012. I’m totally crossing my fingers this time… I can do this!!!! 🙂

If only I have half a million dollars
Jul 13th, 2011 by niceyfemme

If only… If only!!!! I don’t need and want a lot. Just enough for a comfortable life and enough that we don’t need to work in a different country and be away from my family. Life…..

I’d buy a residential lot and have an architect put together the specific designs of my dream house. I have collected pictures so when the time comes we are ready, it will be easier to have it built. I have seen branson real estate at pinnshores.com and I am impressed. I’m ok with a regular and simple place though. I want our lot to have a high fence for additional feeling of security. I want a house with high ceilings. I dream of a patch of land that could accommodate an organic garden where I’ll grow tomatoes. Ahhhhh day dreaming is nice…..

Cost of living
Feb 19th, 2011 by niceyfemme

Yesterday, I headed to the store to buy my face soap. I was shocked that it got more expensive now. Can you believe that it cost Php180 now when it was only Php140 before? Just to have a clean face, it costs me that much! But of course I have to stick to this skin care regimen I’ve been on since I was 16 or else I’d have break outs. No choice!

This got me thinking on a much broader scale, I wonder, how much would it cost for one person to survive and live? I read or heard somewhere that for a simple and low key family to raise one child decently, it would cost them Php 1,000,000 or 1 million. Yes that much.

Ok that made me re-think about my priorities. Being a responsible adult is scary. You think about every little detail, even things that are far ahead in the future. In this aspect, I envy those people who didn’t go to school and married and have kids young. Why? They have a simple life. Happy to just have something to eat. Happy with a Php 1 packet of junk food. They don’t worry about the time when they need to send their kids to school and how they will do it. They sleep so soundly at night while I, don’t have a good night’s sleep for a long time now, since I became an adult, because I worry too much. Now I kinda believe that the less you know, the less you asks questions, and the more you know about life, the more it scares you. Or maybe it’s just me.

Photo: notmine. Can't find the original owner so can't give credit to the owner. But thanks.
Movement to Improve Philippine Airports
Jan 31st, 2011 by niceyfemme

Please do show support for this group in Facebook by clicking the “LIKE” button. The Philippines truly need better airports with better facilities and better procedures. This country needs tourists for a better sustainable economy.

The Philippines is blessed with gorgeous natural wonders and we should make these gorgeous beaches and it’s great people more accessible to tourist  by improving our crappy airports.

Photo: Movement to improve Philippine Airports Facebook page

Ridiculously long line at NAIA3’s second xray. Xray on the right not working.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rice
Jan 17th, 2011 by niceyfemme

I totally miss you.

Read the rest of this entry »

PCOS
Jan 16th, 2011 by niceyfemme

I’ve been going crazy researching about  my recently diagnosed condition called PCOS,  and about my bout with my weight (which is associated with PCOS too) which I am going to discuss further on the next post coming up. (Oh and I’ve also been reading about car insurance quotes given to us to check if it’s competitive but that’s way out of this topic)

If feel like my head is going to explode with all the videos I’ve been watching, and with everything that I’ve been reading. I won’t let this health condition win and I’ll do everything to make myself knowledgeable so I know what to avoid, and how to lessen the symptoms.

To be honest, it is a bit scary to know that I have this because I’ve always taken good care of myself with the healthy foods I eat, I don’t smoke and don’t drink. Alright I am no saint, I do eat fast food once in a while and drink once in a blue moon to help me sleep but that’s it.

I’ve always known that something is not right with my period but I was scared to have my fears confirmed. I used the reason of health care being expensive to delay me getting checked, or that St.Luke’s is too far.

But last December, I was (and still is) eagerly awaiting for my period who’s been lazy in making a visit once a month since October and the nervousness was making me crazy so I told myself, that come January, after the holidays I’ll go to Asian Hospital in Alabang (which is only a 30 minute drive from where we live) to give myself some peace of mind.

Then two weeks ago I finally went there. I talked to a doctor, an OB-GYN who also specializes in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility. I need to know that, when the moment comes that I want to have a baby already, my body is capable to do so.

So I underwent some very expensive tests the first day I went to see the doctor and I was prescribed Provera to induce my period which is so freaking expensive too. at Php 73 each, I was asked to take it thrice a day for 5 days. She told me to wait for the period in 1-2 weeks and it’s been 10 days and my period still not showing up.

Then last Friday, I came back for the results. Then she confirmed that I have some ‘pearls’ in my ovary. She prescribed different pills to try and see which works best for me but I can’t start unless my most awaited visitor shows up.

PCOS is very common with women my age and 5-9 % has this but that still doesn’t make me feel good about it. I would appreciate it if some other women who’s going through PCOS too will share their experiences with me. Who else understands but someone going through it as well? Please do share some thoughts.

Oct 04,2011 Edit: I deleted the name of the doctor as I no longer will be going back for her services. I will be looking for a new doctor who knows how to listen to her patient.

Pawned Babies
Dec 8th, 2010 by niceyfemme

I’ve been sleeping late this past days and I somehow decided to sleep a little early last night. But then the teaser for GMA 7’s Reporter’s Notebook was shown and the topic really caught my attention; it’s about pawned babies.

Whoah! I haven’t heard about this before and had no idea this was happening. My life having the softest spot for babies decided that I was going to watch that program even when it will be shown very late, actually way past midnight.

I have heard about all kinds of scams, from debt settlement scams to housing scams but not this one. Again, the reason why they do it is because of poverty, of hunger. They have no choice. They pawn the baby for only three thousand pesos Php 3000. One woman lost her baby when the person with whom she pawned her baby left and moved. Must be heartbreaking.

I don’t know; it may be illegal but I don’t mind helping them. I don’t mind taking care of a baby and helping them too. I know how it feels to be so helpless and even desperate. You will really consider the things you usually wouldn’t even think about out of desperation.

Serves you right
Dec 7th, 2010 by niceyfemme

Oooh! I love the videos you get to watch in Facebook. This pumped up my morning.

I hate flirts and mistresses who have no sense of limitation and no respect for other people’s relationships. Whether married or in a long term relationship, you cannot just enter the picture whenever you feel like going in. At least wait for the relationship to officially end. (That doesn’t mean those flirts are off the hook for helping in breaking up the relationship.)

I believe that it is your husband/wife/partner who is more accountable for the cheating. In this case, he is the one who promised to love you and be faithful to you. So I guess at least 60% of the blame should go to him and 40% to the third party.

Is this in Market Market?

Oh I have always pictured myself doing this, just to let the feeling of betrayal go. But I can’t. I’m not made to do “public events” like this. While this is something I can’t do, I totally feel the wife for doing this. I’m with her. She’s just fighting for her marriage and those flirts should be put in their right places. I hate how rude they are. How about Assault Charges? I believe the mistress knows better to not file in this kind of case. It is her own embarrassment to be with a married man so she’s not going to make it public and continue putting herself into shame. They continue being with married men in hiding, as this is not something you tell the whole world you are in.

And to that husband; shame on you! Shame on you for cheating, for not having balls to just choose one woman to be with. Being with two or more women doesn’t make you more of a man or more good looking than you really are, it just makes you a gigantic a$$hole! Disgusting!

Flirts and mistresses are selfish people, this is something I’m sure of. Only thinks of themselves. I hate them. Burn in hell biatch!

Jose Fabella Hospital
Oct 25th, 2010 by niceyfemme

I’ve heard and read a lot about this hospital. It’s like a baby factory with hundreds and hundreds of babies born here everyday. So I wanted to see it myself.

The hospital is located close to Doroteo Jose LRT station so I went and hoped that I won’t get lost. Walked for a few minutes and I finally found it after I got lost with a wrong turn.

Babies sight welcomed me there! So many! Wherever you look there are babies and women who just gave birth. I just sat there and eventually talked to some mommies. There’s one mommy with a doll like baby daughter in an ergo baby carrier and she said the baby is half german that’s why. So cute!

Next time I’m taking pictures.

Being around babies make me feel alive. I love the feeling.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
»  Substance:WordPress   »  Style:Ahren Ahimsa