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Roses Are Sweet
Feb 27th, 2012 by niceyfemme

Ok late post coming right now. By the way I’m so glad that I can blog now as I feel quite alright as I type and I hope this continues to go on oh please!

So yeah, my husband gave me roses again. Not on Valentine’s Day but on our nth monthsary. Haha we are corny like that, we have monthsaries. There is some story behind this roses though. This is a big deal for me. Why? This is only the second time he have gave me flowers as he is not the type who does so, he’s more into feeding me haha. So the first time was on our 1st monthsary, almost 6 years ago, then now. I truly appreciated this, I even read the internet to know how to make the life of these roses last. It’s the thought really. And I was totally caught by surprise.

Awww! I love you baby… But what I appreciate more is the time we spend together laughing and being crazy like kids. The tickling and wrestling like Hitman I truly cherish. The mornings before you have to leave for work so you’d wake me up by kissing me lots on the cheek and hug me like there’s no tomorrow. I truly hope we stay this way until we’re old and gray. If you want to buy gold jewelry for me I’m open to that too haha! No really, I am contented just having you. How blessed am I. 🙂

I Don’t Recognize Myself Anymore
Feb 27th, 2012 by niceyfemme

Wahhhh! I guess this is the right word to describe how I was and still am feeling these past weeks… I am always hungry! A different kind of hunger I have never felt before. The kind of hunger that scares me as it is painful and it needs to be dealt with ASAP.

Only able to smile a bit after I felt relief from drinking Milo. Wahhh!

Yeah, I am always hungry, but I have a problem; I can’t eat. I feel like vomiting whenever I put food in my mouth. It’s like JBL Subwoofers are banging in throat! So yeah that’s my predicament these past weeks. I’m always hungry as in like every hour but I can’t stomach food. I feel like crying like a baby whenever I feel the hunger coming up and when I’m forcing myself to eat. Ok, to be honest, I’ve cried more than a couple of times already. Out of frustration and hunger. One was gentle crying the other with shoulders rocking.

I don’t recognize myself anymore. I used to LOVE food. Just the thought of food used to excite me. Just looking at food photos made me salivate and when I finally get my hand on that food, 100% of the time I had to stop myself from eating way too much, more than my tummy can handle. Now just the thought of food makes me want to cry. I feel like I’m fighting a battle whenever I’m eating. I also have to drink ice cold drinks to help with the nausea.

Another thing is I can’t cook anymore. I used to love cooking. I took my time sauteing the garlic, onions etc until they sweat fully but now I can’t even stomach just the smell of it. Now my poor husband has to do the cooking that is after his day of work. I feel guilty. 🙁 Like my mother, one of the ways I show my love is by cooking for them. Now I can’t do that. I truly hope he understands. So far I think he does.

Oh and I have another confession. I used to snob junk food, specially instant noodles. Now they are my life saver. Boiling hot Nissin Seafood noodles cured my mad hunger. I can’t eat healthy home cooked meals. I’m scared to eat just any food before I research if it’s safe or not. I don’t know. I’m desperate. Now I understand just how it feels to starve so bad.

Oh and I lost a lot of weight already. Ahhhhhh! I can’t wait until this phase is over!!!

Two Of My Most Favorite in The World
Feb 20th, 2012 by niceyfemme

I love this baby! She’s so happy and her laughter is contagious and just hearing her laugh like that makes me feel good. This dog touches my heart. To be honest, I’m seeing Bambi in this dog. I still miss Bambi up to this day and I know for the rest of my life I will still miss her, she will always going to be a part of it.

Protected: Pineapple Tarts (Melt in Your Mouth Pastry)
Feb 19th, 2012 by niceyfemme

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I Will Be A Mommy!
Feb 18th, 2012 by niceyfemme

I’ve always wanted to become pregnant and be a mommy. Since I know that I need to do these kinds of things in the perfect time and with the right person, I put a full stop on this dream for years. Fortunately, I reached a point in my life where I am in that place and everything is right for that dream to happen already. I am now married to a wonderful and funny man, and I felt ready for motherhood since last year even before we got married. I am one who do things when it feels right. He asked me to marry him year 2008 but I did not feel like I am ready for marriage then more so having a baby.

After getting married baby is next on our plan but it seemed to be more difficult challenging for me, that’s what my Reproductive Endocrinologist told me. Still it is possible, we just need some help. So I took medications for a year. Wow, it was not easy on me. Those medications made me feel down and low and even caused me to gain a lot of weight. There are times when I was so down I always cried. It was so stressful and the fear of  not knowing if it will ever happen or if it is even possible was just haunting me. Add to that other different stresses life brings and I was a mess on the inside. I was always mad at the smallest things. Thank God I have my family who understands.

Then by December of last year, a really big stress in my life is finally gone. I guess I was stress free that month and happy. I also reached that point when I just prayed to Him leaving everything up to Him since having a baby is beyond my control. I said to my husband, we will do our part then just pray. If it happens then great I’ll be very happy if not then we just have to try again. Trying again is much trickier since distance is going to be a challenge. But I have my faith. Knowing the odds, I didn’t keep my hopes too high.

Then I got the biggest surprise of my life. It was positive! That was after feeling sick and feverish for about a week .I was actually really scared to test because seeing that single line really broke my heart many times before. I really waited for cycle day 35 before I used a home pregnancy kit. I really couldn’t believe my eyes. TWO LINES!!!! I immediately went to Asian Hospital for the first pre-natal check up. Talking about being excited. I was only 4 weeks and 4 days along then.

Still can’t believe I am now pregnant. My husband is happy same with my Mommy and my Dad is so cute and being extra caring with me. Haha he is really excited which is something I somehow knew would happen. Why? He is the one who keeps on asking me when I’ll give him a grandchild. Haha I told him, “Daddy, you know it’s not easy! It’s not like I could just go to the mall and pick the one with the most dots!”

Now I am at 8 weeks and boy it’s not been a walk in the park! I have trouble eating as it makes me feel like vomiting so I can’t eat much but also, I am always hungry! I’ve never felt this hungry before! This kind is different, the type that worries me. The first week I lost 2 lbs now I guess I lost even more. I really lost a lot of weight. I even wake up in the middle of the night because of severe hunger.

I stopped using lotions. I am extra careful now. I want to use comodynes but I guess that will have to wait until after this whole pregnancy.

All of these inconveniences are worth it because after a few months I will have a baby! I so wanted to have a baby that I tried to adopt many times before and even went to an orphanage just to cuddle a baby. Now I will have my own. Thank You Lord. I am so happy.

 

My theories
Feb 10th, 2012 by niceyfemme

I am someone who thinks a lot and someone who is very observant. So in my years of living on Earth, I have a few theories I believe is true and they are:

1. In a family with 3 consecutive same gender siblings, the middle sibling will always be the most good looking one. Example, Hanson brothers, Taylor looks best. My friend’s 3 girls, the middle girl is the cutest. It’s the same in my cousins’ case as well.

2. In couples who are having difficulty of having their own biological children, I heard cases wherein they adopted a baby/kid then immediately for some odd reason, they will be able to conceive their own. I always thought it’s like being close or holding a baby “enhances” your uterus or ovaries. Hmmmn. Then just yesterdayI read about David Bowie and his wife Iman who tried IVF for a year before giving up. Then Iman tried an old African fertility ritual where she held a baby for a whole day then she got pregnant a few months later. I think this happened to me to. I held my husband’s 5 month old nephew on Christmas day but only for a few minutes, exactly a month later I learned I am pregnant! All this makes more sense now.

I have more theories but I need to remember them first. I am so forgetful recently. Hmmmn. Or maybe I am just hungry again.

In Two Years Time
Feb 4th, 2012 by niceyfemme

Wow. I am in such a great place in my life right now I’m so happy. I just want to cherish every single day of this journey, enjoy it while it last then move on to the next stage when the baby is here. Something I can’t help myself though, it’s day dreaming about what the future could be like. For sure I’d be strict with my baby’s diet and everything he or she puts in the mouth.

I want the baby to naturally choose the healthy stuff because that’s what she/he sees us eat instead of junk food and soda. I even plan to give berries for kid’s birthday treat. If I will have to prepare everything for the party then I will just so I’ll be sure everything is healthy.

Haha now I remember what Mommy said about my future child, that my poor baby cannot eat anything like his/her peers like soda. Once in a while is fine but not so often that it will be something he/she gets used to that it already gets addictive. Oh my I’m being so paranoid. I am so excited!!!!

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